ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
