I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
