I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
