It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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