Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
