Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
