I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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