I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
