Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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