So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
