My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
