you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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