I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
