Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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