she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
