In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
