girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
