I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
