therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize