Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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