GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
