hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
