i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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