Too much gin, very little bucket
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
