This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
