Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
