so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
