You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm really into asian looking animals
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
