need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
