He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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