Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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