Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
