Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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