mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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