How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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