It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The power of my boobs compel you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
