Can i not drive my cunt home
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
