i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
