I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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