Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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