There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
