Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think people are normalizing furries
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
