i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
