if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want her autograph on my taint
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
