Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
