How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
