You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
