I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
