I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm at about main and main street
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i now understand why vodka
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
