I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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